Offline Moments

The Life-Changing Magic of Bathing Your Brain

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Recently I’ve become addicted to not being distracted.

If this seems like a silly, simple, obvious, or even inevitable thing, it is. Sure. All of those things. And yet: in a modern world that is very specifically designed to constantly distract us, paying attention is extremely difficult without radical intention and, to paraphrase Susan Sontag, entirely what it’s all about.

“Attention is vitality,” Sontag wrote. “It connects you with others. It makes you eager. Stay eager.”

Thus, as a person who is chronically online for their job (and thus, chronically waging a never-ending war against distraction), I decided this year to test a different notion of self-care— an escape for my bedraggled mind.

Since dubbed The Suzannah Tarkington Brain Bath, the recipe of my cleanse is straight-forward, pure, and effective. It consists of having one hour upon waking and one hour before sleeping without any tech. No emergency exit, no safety net, no hiding place. Revolutionary (lol).

In contemporary life, when we wish to elude our worries, our fears, our loneliness, our awkwardness, our commutes, we almost always turn to a screen. A recent study found that the average American checks their phone 352 times per day. Our abilities to focus deeply, read at meaningful length, recognize higher-order satisfaction, and even dwell with our own emotions are all being reprogrammed by our technology. There’s abundant research on this — I won’t distract you with it right here in the middle of this guide to repairing your attention deficit — but look it up (later).

So: who is this for? Reader, The Suzannah Tarkington Brain Bath might be for you if:

  • you feel constantly distracted and spread thin, as if multitasking is your middle name
  • you’re an abject phone gremlin, waking up and falling asleep to TikTok or Reels
  • you crave increased capacity and abundance in your life
  • you constantly feel mentally-destroyed by information overload

At first, it wasn’t easy. My AirPod security blanket was stripped away and I felt naked, exposed, and deeply uncomfortable. As a coworker recently put it, I was “raw-dogging life.” But: after practicing my Brain Bath over the last year, I can say without hesitation that it has been transformative. Moreover, the biggest leap forward to-date occurred when I upped the ante by adding a totally phoneless morning walk. I now crave this louche ritual constantly.

If you wish to join me in chasing the dragon of experiencing totally normal, unaltered human consciousness, have at it:

HOW TO DRAW AND ENJOY A BRAIN BATH

  1. Wake and get the fuck up…I know this part is hard, but your morning brain is innocent and tender and should be quickly and carefully hurried toward the Brain Bath.
  1. A simple but crucial instruction: don’t look at your phone! I bought a physical alarm clock and locked my phone, to charge, outside my bedroom. It feels “dramatic,” but it’s worth it.
  1. No! Stop! Really, I mean it…don’t peek.
  1. Get ready…clothes, shoes, face wash, coffee, SPF (always SPF).
  1. You will be tempted by your headphones. Your favorite podcast will drop a new episode. You will only have one tiny chapter left in that audiobook. There will be an “urgent” notification from your mom. DON’T GIVE IN. DON’T DO IT. Leave it.
  1. Put on your walking shoes (or whatever your ritual is for leaving home) and go out into the world. No phone. No headphones (fitness watch permitted, but don’t look at those notifications! We’re here to track, not sneak peeks!).  
  1. For my personal Brain Bath, I’ve honed in on a 10 to 15 minute morning walk…however, this part is dealer’s choice. Pick your poison: get thee to the beach, hike a mountain, visit a garden…switch the mode up and ride a bike if that’s your thing.  The ideal route takes the Brain Bather through a little nature and a little quiet, but our priority is for something nearby and repeatable; take what you can get. We’re all meaning makers; you’ll figure it out. P.S.— it should go without saying, but be safe and smart. You don’t want to wind up doing The Eternal Brain Bath in the funeral home.  
  1. You are now - figuratively speaking - easing into the waters of your brain bath. Move, feel yourself in your own body, begin to wonder and be curious, let your brain think freely. In this land of no distractions, your bodily movement encourages a natural flywheel of ambient cerebral activity— lean into it and allow yourself to think, be, ponder, dream. You’ll start to notice something: while your thoughts may begin small (a problem at work, an issue with your spouse, the HEAT! Oh. My. God. It’s hot out.), your brain will start to self-solve your challenges, becoming more expansive in the process.

Ten minutes can feel like a year when you give your mind a little time and space to soak. In this bath of thoughts, you can begin to sort through feelings, problems, goals, and maybe even get to the golden state of dreaming big. I’m not saying you’ll solve all your problems with a simple stroll, but boy does it move you in the right direction.

On these walks, I often have the day dream that my two grandmothers - who I never had the pleasure of meeting but who I understand to have been incredible, kind people - are walking beside me, the three of us arm in arm. They help me navigate challenging situations, they laugh with me when something funny comes to mind, they hold me as emotions I had previously avoided begin to bubble to the surface. In this safe space, this walking day dream, I am just me…no one else…free from judgment, fear, and noise. I face my life in a new way, taking what I need and leaving behind what no longer serves me.

WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT FROM YOUR BRAIN BATH?

  • Mental clarity— damn, it feels good. It’s highly addicting, 10/10, recommend!
  • Time to day dream again (intentionally!!). This space is ripe for big ideas and being inspired by life.
  • You start to notice all the micro joys— birdsongs, little blooms, cracks in the sidewalk. You become hyper aware of the world again, truly present.
  • Your brain innately starts to help you self-solve your problems. You tap into your natural intuition.
  • You have the opportunity to spread a little kindness to your neighbors: say hi to those you pass, learn the name of people’s dogs, open yourself to small interactions, smile more.
  • Unlike a traditional meditation practice, in a brain bath you’re encouraged to think freely about anything, everything, allowing your brain to just be. Hot tips: avoid unwanted intrusive thoughts or attempts to meter out self-judgment during this time; if you notice these coming up, recognize them for what they are and release them. It’s part of the bath; you can just wash ‘em away.
  • If you maintain this practice long enough, you might come back from a Brain Bath, clarified and inspired, and find yourself writing a whole Almanac article just like me.

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